here we go again, and again , and again......

well the 2ww is almost here and i can feel the mentally inflicted pregnancy symptoms coming on! but for some reason in the back of my mind somewhere , ive kinda accepted the fact tht im not gonna be able to get pregnant without some sort of medical intervention.

Stroke of luck and irony.

so its official, i didnt get to do the hsg, so im gonna have to wait till next cycle. In the meantime , my step kids are visiting us for the summer, omg they're so adorable, but at the same time not mine, i feel so jealous when i see dh with them, not that i dont want him doing that but im just jealous of the fact that i dont have one of my own for him to shower with love.... well im keeping my fingers crossed tht by some stroke of luck and irony tht i get pregnant this month, that way i can feel happy about not doing the hsg.

Missed opportunity

Well Wednesday has come and almost gone, and i didn t get to do the hsg, tried callling the doc this morning to cancel but didnt get through with him.....I hope he will do it for me at a later date when i can come up with the money although im sure hes gonna say its supposed to be done at a specific time in the month to ensure im not pregnant, I think by now i can vouch for myself, I am sure i am not and wont be pregnant anytime this month, so ill be requesting to have my hsg done at the end of the month. I n the meantime dh's children from his previous marriage are with us on vacation( they're so adorable) but i cant help but feel a tinge of jealousy when they're playing with him. I wish it were my kids. sigh.

not looking good

well its tuesday and it doesnt look good, i still havent come up with the money for the hsg, dh travelled and is coming back today i hope he can work somethin out, cause if i call the doctor to reschedule he might think im not serious.

scratch that

i will get that money for my H.S.G some way or some how......Better start raiding my closet for those sellables

dampened plans

Well today it dawned on me that the plan i had to come up with the funds to do the hsg might not come through in time for wednesday.SO right now im a bit saddened by the fact that i may not be able to do it.I hope something works out.keeping my fingers crossed.

Thank you B.

Well ive always heard or read ppl on these sites complimenting their spouses on the support they have offered and ive always got a tinge of jealousy as ive never experienced that. Not because my spouse isnt supportive, but ive never really opend up to him about my feelings on the situation, therefore ive always felt so alone without anyone to talk to , felt so shut out from the one person that i needed to console me during my many dissappointing period arrivals. Then this month when aunt flo caught me, i was so certain that i was pregnant that i couldnt help but break down in tears, and he was there, supporting me and reassuring me that we are in this together and we'll do all what it takes , together , to achieve our goal of one day holding our child in our arms.I felt so loved at that moment , so special; he has given me a new confidence to go on and to strive to reach my point of satisfaction. So even as the days go by and i change pads and tampons , i am optimistic that every thing is gonna work out fine, and ill eventually have my lors (boy) or leisle(girl).

Road to discovery

Hello, and welcome to my blog. As i said in about me i am a nurse and im battling with infertility, I have not been diagnosed with any specific cause as yet but im on the road to discovery.I did an hsg in march 2011 which was kinda inconclusive, because, i believe the performer wasnt competent in performing the skill. Anyway, i have since found me a renowned(in my parts of the world) ob/gyn and i am confident that he is gonna help me alot along this journey. So, firstly, we have scheduled another hsg, which he will be performing on the 20th of this month, so all for now im excited about that.